The Truth About Living In Japan As A Foreign Woman

What it is like living in japan for foreign woman

Life in Japan can be very different to what you’re used to, and understanding cultural norms will help you integrate into society and help you navigate daily life in Japan. While I don’t think you have to change your identity and follow societal expectations that you don’t agree with, I think it is important to know about them so that you can make informed decisions. Although there are always pros and cons for everyone living in Japan, these are specific insights I’ve noticed living in Japan as a foreign woman.

What you’ll find here

Here you’ll find a few of the things I noticed from living in Japan as a foreign woman for several years. Although I joke a lot, they are things that might help you understand a little bit more about how things work in Japan. If you’re living in Japan and experiencing these things, at least you won’t feel like you’re going crazy. Don’t worry it’s not you, it is Japan!

Dating in Japan is difficult for foreign women

Being a foreign woman in Japan means you’re the last pick at the dance. Let’s be real, most foreign men come to Japan because they’re into Japanese girls. Unfortunately most Japanese men don’t consider dating foreign women. Of course there are some anomalies to this rule but generally you’ll find dating is difficult living in Japan as a foreign woman. 

You get given black bags to hide your period products

If you run to the convenience store in Japan to pick up some period products you’ll be surprised to find they get put in a black bag. It basically sums up how Japanese society views women’s health. It is something that is hidden away, not to be talked about or seen.

The pill is like a million dollars

Which brings us to oral contraceptives. It is getting easier to get the pill and it is getting cheaper, but it is still pricey and considered taboo in Japan. Oral contraceptives were only approved for use two decades ago as Japanese society is very conservative. Much like abortions (which are super expensive and require consent from your partner) and emergency contraceptives (which only got approved last year but you’ll still need find a doctor who will give it to you), it isn’t something you’ll want to bring up with your Japanese friends or partner as it is seen as something that only women-of-the-night do. Yep, that is right. It is the 1800s up in here.

Clothes are really hard to find for foreign women in japan

Clothes in Japan are super cute but unless you fit the ideal body type you’ll find it difficult to find clothes that fit. This is because a lot of clothes are free-size and international brands have different sizing in Japan as they usually only offer the petite sizing. Again, this is slowly changing as society becomes more inclusive. If you’re looking for help buying clothes in Japan I have a guide for that!

Socially acceptable clothing 101

What is socially acceptable in one country is not universal. Of course you do not have to follow these unwritten rules when living in Japan as a foreign woman but it will make your life easier to fit in and you will get less stares.

Gym: Women generally wear loose-fitting clothing and tights are worn with shorts over them.

Summer: Even though it’s 100 degrees, the shoulders and chest are covered. This doesn’t apply for skirts and shorts though – they can be as short as you want. Why? I don’t know dude, I don’t make the rules.

Weddings: Dress like your grandma in the 80s. Think lace with the arms covered and knee-length skirts. Add the ugliest court shoes you can find. Like something a 40 year old bank teller would wear in a 90s movie. Finally, add an embroidered shawl that looks like a curtain. I’m not even joking – this is legit the acceptable attire.

Office wear: Make sure you dress like you’re a Mormon going door-knocking on a Sunday morning. Just make sure you stick to colours that represent a gloomy winter’s day.

Women get paid significantly less than men

Wow, you got a job in Japan? If it is a Japanese company, get used to earning significantly less than your male counterparts and getting overlooked for promotions because you’re basically just there to find a husband, right? Unfortunately, this is the reality of being a woman in Japan. I highly recommend getting a job at an international company if you’re a career girlie.

The housewife lifestyle in japan is a 10/10

If you make friends with some Japanese girlies you’ll find that a lot of them are keen to become housewives. I couldn’t understand this at first (being a childfree girlie myself), but after years of living in Japan I totally get it. Having a successful career is difficult and unfulfilling for women in Japan and becoming a housewife is still a more stable option for many.

You will get to manage the family finances, stay home all day making cute bento while your kid is in daycare, and hang out at Starbucks with your other housewife girlies. Japan also has monetary incentives for families to have kids and healthcare is cheap so if the housewife lifestyle sounds like your jam, Japan is a great place to live that life.

People will stare, so let them

Living in Japan as a foreign woman, you will need to accept that people are going to stare on a daily basis. Whether you’re wearing your sweatpants on a quick trip to the convenience store or in a business suit at a meeting, you are going to stand out. So be your fabulous self.

The illusion of safety is just that: an illusion

You can find creeps in any country and Tokyo is no exception. Even though every person you meet will rave about how safe Japan is, the reality of living there is very different as a woman. There is a reason there are women-only cars on the train. If you’re looking for practical safety tips I have a guide here.