What You Need To Know About Moving To Japan As A Woman

Moving to Japan as a woman? A totally different experience to men.

Are you thinking about moving to Japan as a woman but want to make sure it is the right fit for you? I lived in Tokyo for seven years and during that time I learned a lot about myself. I also learned a lot about Japanese society. I’ve already explained that there are many different ways you can move to Japan but here I’ll share my opinion about moving to Japan as a woman (and if it is really worth it).

What you’ll find here

Here you’ll find my personal opinion about what you should know before moving to Japan as a woman. This is specific to those who identify as women because moving to Japan is a completely different experience for men (and most of what you hear is often written by men). I’ve answered four important and frequently asked questions I get from women considering making the big move. Please remember that this is my personal experience and it is based on my personal context – growing up in New Zealand (Aotearoa) and living in England. Afterwards, I lived in both Chiba and Tokyo (Suginami-ku, Shinjuku-ku, and Minato-ku).

Is Japan friendly to Foreigners?

Japan has a love-hate relationship with foreigners (known as gaijin). Generally speaking, most Japanese people will be nice to your face unless they’re extremists. I did have a situation where a random Japanese woman shouted on the street for me to “go home” but I did live in Japan for 7 years so it was bound to happen sooner or later.

If you’re blue-eyed and blonde, under 170cm and weigh less than 65kg, you can expect lots of love and admiration – whether you want it or not. It doesn’t matter if you look like your mother and father are related, your nose is big, your eyes are close together, or you’ve got a smile that resembles Steve Buscemi – you’ll be popular.

I’ve had old men touch my hair and young men demand I talk to them. The solution? Putting on weight and going natural. I became basically invisible. It is really a super power. If you’re single and looking to find a Japanese husband while you’re in Japan then staying within the ideal beauty standards for a foreigner is probably in your best interest. The truth is Japan only really likes foreigners that are white passing. There, I said it. Japan has a very narrow view of what is considered attractive. If you’re already in a relationship and looking to be left alone, I highly recommend sitting just outside the beauty standards. 

How are foreign women perceived in Japan?

Unfortunately, foreign women don’t have a good reputation in Japan as anything but a toy. Foreign women in Japan are generally perceived to be hyper-sexual beings and most Japanese men have probably fantasised about being with one. However, it is usually an escape from daily life (unless they’re desperate, already living on the fringe of society and no Japanese women would marry them). The exception is Japanese men working in high-paying, international companies like banking. It is quite common for them to have a foreign trophy wife living out her best Minato-ku life. 

Is Japan safe for foreign women?

Japan is generally quite a safe country, but single foreign women should still watch out. That is because it will always be a struggle with the high risk of sexual harassment and the constant surveillance you’ll be under. Keep in mind I am from New Zealand, so my opinion is based on that context. But I have never felt more unsafe than I did living in Japan and the main reason is because if I got attacked or harassed in a western country, I could count on someone else stepping in to help me.

I have been harassed in Tokyo in public and no one even looked my way. Going to the police isn’t really an option as a foreigner, so you really are left to fend for yourself. If you’re looking to protect yourself during your time in Japan, I’ve written some safety tips here for you.