The Ultimate Pros and Cons of Being Childfree

The pros and cons of being childfree in a child-centered world

If you’ve read my blogs or watched my vlogs and thought “how is she able to travel so much?”, the simple answer is because I’m childfree. Being childfree has given me the opportunity to live a life full of travel and creativity. There are lots of other benefits to being childfree so I thought I would share my personal list of pros and cons of being childfree. Keep in mind that a childfree lifestyle means you choose not to have children. It differs from childless – which is when you want kids but aren’t able to have them. 

What you will find here: the childfree lifestyle

Here you’ll find all of the pros and cons of being childfree. As someone who is nearing 40, these are the pros and cons I have personally experienced in this sick, sad world. This is not a philosophical argument about the plight or humanity or the morals of having children – I’m just a girl on the internet sharing how being childfree has shaped my world. I hope this help you to make the decision that is right for you!

Pros of being childfree

All your money is your money

Life these days isn’t cheap. Previous generations might have been able to afford to buy a house with a lawn and raise 2.5 children on a single salary but those days are mostly over (unless you have a lot of financial support and safety nets — a.k.a generational wealth).

For us plebs that grew up on welfare, the unfortunate reality is that we are starting from further behind the starting line. It is a lot easier to get out of debt, invest, and save for your own retirement without also having to support a child and save for a child’s future. And if you can’t afford to have a child and still go ahead with bringing someone into the world without the ability to care for them, aren’t you just a sadist?

Your money being your money means you can focus on buying your freedom. 

All your time is your time

Do you like sleeping in on the weekends, taking a soothing bubble bath, or going out for dinner on a whim? Well you can kiss that all goodbye if you have kids. One of the pros of being childfree is that you get to decide how you spend your time on Earth because it is all yours. 

I spend a lot of my time travelling the world but sometimes I’ll spend the whole week playing games or binge-watching my favourite TV shows. Do you want to apply for that job overseas? Go for it! Do you want to book that trip for next weekend? No problem! Do you simply just want to stay in bed all day? Love that for you. It is your time, and no one is there to nag you about how you spend it.

You’ll have the energy to do what you love

As a creative I struggle with motivation and inspiration from time to time. But having a child would be like throwing a spanner in the works which is why I chose a childfree lifestyle. I have a consistent sleep schedule, ample time to cook delicious meals or grab brunch with the girlies, and plenty of time to sit down and brainstorm ideas (or just daydream). 

Making and creating doesn’t just happen, you need the mental space to explore ideas. While I gain a lot of inspiration from my travels I also spend a lot of my energy on reading, sketching, painting, and writing because that is what is important to me. I also love to develop new skills and those take time and energy. I have been learning how to sew, crochet, knit, and speak Slovenian.

You will also have more energy to give back to your community which benefits everyone!

Travel is a lot less stressful

You know who invented the saying “I need a vacation to recover from my vacation?” Moms. I might have travelled a billion times but I still can never relax until I’m checked in and sitting in the airport lounge. I can’t imagine being expected to entertain a child for a 24 hour flight or having to plan and pack an itinerary that will suit a range of age groups. That sounds exhausting and not fun. Not to mention it is so much cheaper to travel as a childfree traveller. It is a lot less stressful to travel knowing you can afford to buy what you want and there is no debt to deal with when you get home.

You don’t have to compromise for anyone

Moving to a new country or trying out a new career is difficult when you have a kid in school that needs consistency or a young adult child wanting financial support to buy a home. One of the pros and cons of being childfree that you should consider is that when you are living a childfree lifestyle you don’t have anyone depending on you so you can be honest with yourself about what you want and go for it.

You get to be an adult

Do you like having delicate, vintage furniture in your home or do you enjoy singing Baby Shark for the hundredth time? Do you like your house to be clean and aesthetically pleasing or do you prefer ugly, plastic child-locks on everything? Well when you live a childfree lifestyle in your house for grown-ups only, you get to decorate your home however you like! 

The sad beige moms will tell you that you can do that anyway — but they’re called sad beige moms for a reason. If you know anything about child development, you will know that children need consistency as well as a rich and varied learning environment. Most importantly, it needs to be safe! You won’t have to worry about leaving all your sewing needles out when you don’t have kids.

Instead of scrubbing crude crayon drawings off the walls you can spend your time building that great oak library of your dreams and attend dinner parties where you discuss classical literature without ever having to do a baby voice or know anything about Peppa the Pig or Bluey. 

No one will stick you in a retirement home

Most people will try the “who will look after you when you’re older?” tactic to scare you into procreating. But I ask you to look into any retirement home. The majority of the people in retirement homes have children with power of attorney. You won’t have to worry about your children trying to stick you in a retirement home when you’re older just so they can get their hands on your money.

There is just no guarantee that having children will mean that you will have a person holding your hand as you pass. The reality is you’ll probably be alone in your hospital bed while your nurse grabs a snack from the vending machine. This is such a prevalent problem that there are volunteer programmes to ensure people aren’t alone when they pass. If that makes you uncomfortable, I would urge you to ask yourself why that matters so much to you in the grand scheme of things. Don’t let your fear of dying alone stop you from living the life you want. 

cons of being childfree

You will be asked to explain your decisions over and over again

If you thought the passive-aggressive comments from your parents every Christmas were going to stop — you are wrong. Your empty womb will forever be your shortcoming in their eyes and the main topic of discussion. People will act like you’ve lost your damn mind if you mention you’re childfree. As a vegan, I can tell you it is a very similar reaction to when you tell meat-eaters that you don’t eat meat!

Some people tend to see your personal choices as an attack on their own — especially if they see it makes you happy. It gets really tiring answering people’s questions as they try to come up with loopholes and scenarios (“What if you were the last two people on Earth?”) that will somehow prove you’re wrong. Because their lifestyle is the only “right” way to live lmao.

It is harder to make friends as a woman

Choosing a childfree lifestyle is still uncommon (1 in 4 Australian women will be childless in their lifetime which includes those who wanted children but did not give birth), so finding friends with similar values can be difficult.

You can, of course, still be friends with people with children. Unfortunately, since it is still the norm for women to focus their life around motherhood, you’ll be missing most of the typical milestones society deems ‘worth celebrating’. Finding support for your new book launch might be a lot more difficult than getting the gang together for a child’s birthday party.

In my experience it can also be difficult to find parents that don’t make every conversation or event child-centered so I tend to focus my energy on other relationships.

You’ll have tough decisions to make

Do you go and relax on a beach in Thailand in January or do you spend the season skiing in Europe? These are the kind of tough decisions you’re going to have to make in life. I know it sucks but I think you’ll manage.